Trauma, Illness, and Healing
As a therapist specializing in trauma, I am constantly seeking resources that not only deepen my understanding but also provide practical wisdom to share with my clients. Recently, I read “The Myth of Normal, Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture” by Gabor Maté and wanted to distill the key insights into a blog post.
Trauma, whether stemming from a single distressing event or prolonged exposure to adverse circumstances, has lasting detrimental consequences impacting psychological, physiological, and/or social functioning.
Impact of Trauma
The effects of trauma are intricate and can manifest in diverse ways, dysregulating the body’s stress response system. Psychologically, trauma can create negative beliefs about oneself, others, and the world. Individuals who have experienced trauma often struggle with low self-esteem, negative self images, emotional dysregulation, and inability to externalize shame. These symptoms lead to mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression. When trauma is present, healthy boundaries and trust are corroded making it difficult for vulnerability and intimacy to exist. Without these, it is impossible to form and maintain healthy relationships, leading to lack of connection, isolation, and loneliness. The physiological impacts of trauma are widespread. Research has shown that traumatic experiences lead to an increase in baseline stress levels which can disable the immune system’s functioning. This contributes to chronic health conditions, auto immune disorders, cardiovascular and gastrointestinal issues, muscular and skeletal pain, as well as decreased ability to eliminate malignancy, and poorer health outcomes.
Trauma Transference
Trauma in most cases is transgenerational with transmission happening from parent to child, generation to generation, passing on to offspring what has not been resolved. Researchers have found that the impacts of trauma, can be transferred as early as pregnancy. Studies have shown that fetuses of mothers who are stressed or depressed respond differently from those whose mothers are more emotionally balanced. The infants of mother’s who are struggling with their own mental health difficulties have increased risk of developing learning and behavioral problems and may themselves be more vulnerable to depression or anxiety as they age. Once babies come into this world, they are vulnerable and completely dependent on their caregivers. They use the emotional and nervous system of their caregivers to regulate their own internal states thus their physiology and stress hormone levels are susceptible to the emotional states of the adults in their lives and the emotional atmosphere in the home. The more stressed adults are, the more stressed children are.
When children are exposed to traumatic events, they seek to make sense of the overwhelming and distressing experiences they encounter. They try to understand why the trauma occurred and how they can protect themselves from similar events in the future. Children typically have two primary ways of making sense of traumatic events:
Believing they are unsafe with their caregivers: In some cases, children may perceive their caregivers as unable to protect them from harm or are the source of danger themselves. This can occur if the caregivers were directly involved in the traumatic event or if the child perceives their caregivers as failing to provide safety and security in the aftermath of the trauma.
Believing they are at fault: Alternatively, children may internalize the trauma and blame themselves for what happened. They may believe that they somehow caused or deserved the traumatic event, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame. This can stem from a child's natural egocentrism, making it difficult for them to comprehend that external factors beyond their control contributed to the trauma.
More often than not, children adopt a sense of personal responsibility for the traumatic event as a way of coping with the overwhelming feelings of fear and helplessness. By attributing the cause of the trauma to themselves, children may believe that they can prevent similar events from occurring in the future or that they can somehow mitigate the impact of the trauma on their lives. These distorted narratives produce low self esteem and a negative self image that persists into adulthood, and shape the individual’s relationship with themselves and others.
When children are raised with conditional love, where approval is contingent upon meeting certain expectations or standards set by caregivers, they often find themselves navigating a delicate balance between authenticity and attachment. In such environments, children learn early on that their worth and acceptance are dependent on conforming to external demands and behaving in ways that please others. These people pleasing tendencies continue into adulthood with individuals who:
-have an automatic and compulsive concern for the emotional needs of others, while ignoring their own
-have a rigid identification with social role, duty, and responsibility
-are overdriven externally focused multitaskers
-are hyper-responsible, based on the conviction that one must justify one’s existence by doing and giving
-they repress healthy, self-protective aggression and anger
-they harbor and compulsively act out two beliefs “I am responsible for how other people feel” and “I must never disappoint anyone” (Maté & Maté, 2022, p.83)
It is important to highlight that these characteristics are not conscious choices. They are learned behaviors adapted to preserve essential attachments and get needs met. Some studies have found that these exact characteristics were present in higher proportion in people with chronic illnesses. The evidence suggests that people who compulsively put the needs and expectations of others ahead of their own and repress their negative emotions struggle more with chronic illness, have higher likelihood of cancer, and poorer health prognoses overall. Maté references two such studies-
Fifty-six women admitted to a hospital for biopsy were evaluated for characteristics such as emotional suppression, rationalization, altruistic behavior, the avoidance of conflict, and the super autonomous self-sufficiency. [The study found that] women with cancerous breast lumps characteristically exhibited “extreme suppression of anger and of other feelings” in “a significantly higher proportion” than the control group, which was made up of women admitted for biopsy at the same time but found to have benign breast tumors. (Maté & Maté, 2022, p.35)
A study that followed nearly two thousand women over ten years, found that those “who reported that in conflict with their spouses, they usually or always kept their feelings to themselves, had over four times the risk of dying during he follow-up compared with women who always showed their feelings”. (Maté & Maté, 2022, p.252)
Researchers are finding that repression disarms the ability to protect oneself from stress and in turn stress takes a toll on the body.
Healing Trauma
The good news is that we can heal ourselves and stop the spread of intergenerational trauma. We begin by taking inventory of the impact trauma has had on our lives and how it has shaped our current functioning and relationships. We have to trace back triggers to the core wounds they arose from and untangle the web of negative self beliefs. Here are some questions Gabor Maté calls out to begin this process:
In my life's important areas, what am I not saying no to? Even if I say no, do I do so reluctantly, apologetically, or with guilt? How does my inability to say no impact my life? (physical, emotional, interpersonal)What is the hidden story behind my inability to say no? What must I believe about myself to deny my own needs this way? Where did I learn these stories?
(Maté & Maté, 2022, p.315)
Once we have identified our wounds and their impacts, we can begin the work of relabeling self-limiting beliefs and creating new narratives. This is a journey that you can go on your own or with the help of a professional. Professional interventions, including therapy and other trauma-informed approaches, can play a crucial role in mitigating the long-term effects of trauma and promoting overall well-being.
References:
Maté, G., & Maté, D. (2022). The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture. Random House.